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Your tribe is who you spend most of your time with – your circle of friends, family, co-workers, peers, etc. These people aren’t necessarily the closest relationships you may have, but rather specifically those you spend the most time with. If you work a 40 hour per week job, then you spend 1/4 of your life at work – depressing to think about, I know. So chances are, you’re spending quite a bit of time with those you work with.
Then you have friends, family, and likely your significant other.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” – Jim Rohn
Take a minute and think about the 5 people you spend the most time with. List each person. If you’re driving, then do this later and think of them instead. Give some thought to each person, and ask yourself the following questions.
- Who are they?
- What do they do for a living?
- What is their general socioeconomic status?
- How healthy are they?
- How happy do they seem?
- Are they a positive or negative person?
- Do they continue to grow or are they stagnate?
- Do they live life abundantly or scarcely?
These are just a few cues you can use to determine the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Then ask yourself the same questions about you. Chances are, you are very similar to these 5 people. Is it a coincidence? Are you similar because you spend time together? Or do you spend time together because you are similar? It’s a bit of a chicken and egg question, I know. Now, what’s this all about? Why does it matter who you spend your time with, you might be wondering.
In Tribe of Millionaires, Simon, the executor to Ethan’s Dad’s estate, explains to Ethan the importance of who you surround yourself with by saying:
“We tend to feel like we make conscious decisions about our lives. We make decisions. We take action. We get results. We shape our destinies. What we don’t realize is that subconsciously, there are powerful forces at work that affect how we think and act. We’re being subtly shaped by the world around us all the time.”
We think we are in control of our future. But we don’t realize just how important our environment is. Part of our environment is our tribe. Your tribe has a huge impact on your life – from shaping your thoughts to guiding your actions and much more. People come and go in your life, like an ebb and flow of influence. If who you surround yourself is as important as Jim Rohn and so many others say, then being intentional about your tribe would only make sense.
Building Your Tribe
You can create and control your environment in many aspects. Growing your tribe is one of the most impactful ways you can create your environment.
- Network with people who are doing what it is that you want, or are where you want to be. These can be meetup groups, conferences, mastermind groups, etc.
- Seek out people online and learn from them. You don’t have to personally know Warren Buffet to learn from him. You don’t have to be pals with Ken McElroy to replicate his success as a multifamily investor. By following people online and learning from them, you are elevating your mindset, your actions, and your results.
- Grow new relationships. Your tribe will change over time. People will come and go. With that, comes the opportunity to develop new relationships with people.
- Contribute to your tribe. In a traditional tribe, each member has a role. When each person is playing their part, the tribe functions like a well oiled machine. When someone starts lacking, it pulls down the entire tribe. The same is true with you and your tribe. You have so much to offer, so be sure to bring value to your tribe where you can.
The 6 Effects
Let’s look at a few ways you can grow, change, and control your mindset.
- The Influence Effect – Your destiny is shaped by those around you
- The Multiplier Effect – The right group of people compounds your efforts
- The Accountability Effect – Responsibility to others is the world’s most powerful force
- The Authenticity Effect – You find your true self among those you trust
- The Purpose Effect – The right people reveal your richest source of power
- The Connection Effect – Your life will be measured by the quality of your relationships